Third Trimester Guide for Expectant Fathers: The Final Countdown to Fatherhood

You've made it to the third trimester—weeks 28 through 40 (or sometimes beyond). This is the home stretch, the final countdown, the last chapter before you meet your baby. The third trimester is physically the hardest for your pregnant partner, emotionally intense for both of you, and practically the busiest as you prepare for labor, delivery, and bringing a newborn home.

This comprehensive third trimester guide for expectant fathers will prepare you for what's coming: how to support her through increasing discomfort, what to pack in the hospital bag, how to recognize labor signs, and what to expect in the delivery room. By the end of this guide, you'll feel ready—or at least as ready as any first-time dad can be.

What Changes in the Third Trimester

The third trimester is defined by rapid growth. The baby gains most of their weight during these final weeks, growing from about 2-3 pounds at 28 weeks to 6-9 pounds by 40 weeks. This growth puts increasing pressure on your partner's body, causing a range of uncomfortable symptoms.

Physical changes you'll notice:

Her belly is enormous and constantly in the way. Simple tasks like tying shoes, getting out of bed, or rolling over become challenging. She'll need help with things she used to do easily.

She's exhausted again, but differently than the first trimester. This isn't hormonal fatigue—it's physical exhaustion from carrying extra weight, not sleeping well, and her body preparing for labor.

She's uncomfortable all the time. There's no comfortable position. Sitting hurts. Standing hurts. Lying down hurts. Nothing helps. This is normal, but it's brutal.

Common Third Trimester Symptoms (And How to Help)

Braxton Hicks Contractions

Starting around week 28-30, she'll likely experience Braxton Hicks contractions—irregular "practice" contractions that tighten the uterus but don't dilate the cervix or start labor. These can be uncomfortable and sometimes alarming if you don't know what they are.

How to tell the difference between Braxton Hicks and real labor:

Braxton Hicks are irregular and don't get closer together. Real labor contractions follow a pattern and intensify over time.

Braxton Hicks usually stop with movement or hydration. Real labor contractions continue regardless of what she does.

Braxton Hicks are uncomfortable but not usually painful. Real labor contractions are painful and take her breath away.

How to help: Encourage her to drink water and change positions. If she's anxious about whether it's real labor, time the contractions together. If they're irregular and stop, it's Braxton Hicks. If they're regular and intensifying, call the doctor.

Shortness of Breath

The growing uterus pushes up against her diaphragm, reducing lung capacity. She'll feel winded going up stairs, walking short distances, or even just talking. This is normal but frustrating.

How to help: Slow down. Don't rush her. If she needs to stop and catch her breath halfway up the stairs, wait patiently. Encourage her to sleep propped up with pillows, which can ease breathing at night.

Swelling (Edema)

Fluid retention causes swelling in the feet, ankles, hands, and face. Some swelling is normal, but sudden or severe swelling can indicate preeclampsia, a dangerous pregnancy complication.

How to help: Encourage her to elevate her feet whenever possible. Offer foot rubs (gently—don't press too hard). Help her remove rings before they get stuck. Watch for sudden swelling in the face or hands and call the doctor immediately if it occurs.

Frequent Urination (Again)

Just like the first trimester, she'll need to pee constantly. The baby's head is pressing on her bladder, leaving almost no capacity. She'll wake up multiple times per night to use the bathroom.

How to help: Never complain about bathroom stops. Plan extra time for trips because she'll need to find a restroom. Don't make jokes about how often she pees. It's not funny—it's exhausting.

Insomnia and Sleep Struggles

Between the frequent urination, back pain, leg cramps, heartburn, and inability to find a comfortable position, sleep becomes nearly impossible in the third trimester. She's exhausted but can't sleep, which is a special kind of torture.

How to help: Invest in a quality pregnancy pillow if you haven't already. Offer to rub her back or feet to help her relax. Don't complain about her tossing and turning keeping you awake—she's not doing it on purpose. Consider sleeping in separate rooms if it helps her rest better. This isn't rejection; it's survival.

Nesting Instinct

Around weeks 36-38, many women experience an intense urge to clean, organize, and prepare the home for the baby. This is called the nesting instinct, and it's driven by hormones and psychology.

How to help: Support the nesting without letting her overdo it. She might want to deep clean the entire house at 38 weeks pregnant. Help her do it, or better yet, do it for her. Don't dismiss the nesting urge as irrational—it's a real biological drive that helps her feel prepared.

Preparing for Labor: What Expectant Fathers Need to Know

The third trimester is when labor preparation shifts from abstract concept to concrete reality. You need to know what labor looks like, when to go to the hospital, and what your role will be.

Signs of Labor

Early labor signs (could be days or weeks before active labor): - Lightening: The baby "drops" lower into the pelvis, making breathing easier but increasing pelvic pressure - Loss of mucus plug: A thick, jelly-like discharge (sometimes tinged with blood) that seals the cervix during pregnancy - Diarrhea or nausea: The body's way of clearing out before labor - Burst of energy: Some women feel suddenly energized right before labor starts

Active labor signs (time to go to the hospital): - Regular contractions that follow the 5-1-1 rule: contractions every 5 minutes, lasting 1 minute each, for at least 1 hour - Water breaking: A gush or trickle of amniotic fluid (this happens before contractions start in only about 10% of labors) - Bloody show: Mucus discharge with blood, indicating the cervix is dilating

When to Go to the Hospital

This is one of the most common sources of anxiety for expectant fathers. You don't want to go too early and get sent home, but you also don't want to wait too long and deliver in the car.

General guidelines:

For first-time moms, follow the 5-1-1 rule: contractions every 5 minutes, lasting 1 minute, for 1 hour. First labors are typically long (12-24 hours on average), so you usually have time.

If her water breaks, call the doctor immediately. Even if contractions haven't started, you'll likely need to go to the hospital within 24 hours to prevent infection.

If she's in severe pain, bleeding heavily, or something feels wrong, go immediately. Trust your instincts.

What to do when labor starts:

Stay calm. Your energy sets the tone. If you panic, she'll panic. Take deep breaths and focus on the plan.

Time the contractions. Use an app or write them down: when each contraction starts, how long it lasts, and how far apart they are.

Call the doctor or midwife. They'll ask about contraction timing, water breaking, and other symptoms, then tell you when to come in.

Grab the hospital bags. You should have these packed and ready by week 36 (more on this below).

The Hospital Bag: What to Pack for Labor and Delivery

By week 36, you should have two bags packed and ready to go: one for her and one for you. Don't wait until labor starts to think about what to bring.

Her Hospital Bag

For labor: - Comfortable clothing (loose nightgown or robe that opens in front for skin-to-skin contact) - Socks (hospitals are cold, and she'll want warm feet) - Hair ties (if she has long hair) - Lip balm (breathing through contractions dries out lips) - Phone charger - Snacks for after delivery (she'll be starving)

For postpartum: - Going-home outfit (comfortable, think second trimester size—she won't fit into pre-pregnancy clothes yet) - Nursing bras (even if not planning to breastfeed, her milk will come in) - Comfortable underwear she doesn't mind ruining (or disposable underwear) - Toiletries (toothbrush, toothpaste, shampoo, body wash, deodorant) - Flip-flops for the shower

For the baby: - Going-home outfit in newborn and 0-3 month sizes (you don't know how big the baby will be) - Car seat (installed in your car before labor—you can't leave the hospital without one) - Swaddle blankets - Pacifiers (if you plan to use them)

Your Hospital Bag

Don't forget about yourself. You'll be at the hospital for 24-48 hours (or longer), and you need supplies too.

What to pack for yourself: - Change of clothes (at least two sets) - Toiletries (toothbrush, deodorant, face wash) - Phone charger - Snacks (hospitals don't feed partners, and vending machines are expensive) - Pillow and blanket (hospital chairs are uncomfortable) - Entertainment (book, tablet, headphones) for early labor when she's resting - Cash for parking and vending machines

Important documents to bring: - Insurance cards - ID and hospital pre-registration paperwork - Birth plan (if you have one)

Your Role During Labor: What Expectant Fathers Actually Do

Many expectant fathers worry about what they're supposed to do during labor. The answer is simple: whatever she needs. But here are specific ways to be helpful.

Early Labor (at home or hospital)

Early labor can last hours or even days. Contractions are manageable, and she's still able to talk and move around.

How to help: - Time contractions and track patterns - Encourage her to rest, eat light snacks, and stay hydrated - Distract her with movies, games, or conversation - Offer back rubs or hip squeezes during contractions - Keep the environment calm and low-stress

Active Labor (hospital)

Active labor is when contractions become intense, regular, and painful. This is the hard part.

How to help: - Be her advocate. Communicate with nurses and doctors on her behalf if she's too focused on contractions to speak. - Provide physical support. Hold her hand, apply counter-pressure to her lower back, help her change positions. - Remind her to breathe. During intense contractions, she might hold her breath. Breathe with her—slow, deep breaths. - Offer encouragement. Tell her she's strong, she's doing great, and you're proud of her. Mean it. - Respect her pain management choices. If she wants an epidural, support it. If she wants to go natural, support that too. Don't judge or push your preferences.

Transition Phase (8-10 cm dilation)

Transition is the most intense part of labor. Contractions are extremely painful, close together, and she might feel like she can't do it anymore. This phase is brutal but usually short (30 minutes to 2 hours).

How to help: - Stay close. Don't leave her side unless she asks you to. - Don't take it personally if she snaps at you, curses, or says things she doesn't mean. Transition makes women say and do things they wouldn't normally. It's not about you. - Remind her that this is almost over. Transition is the last phase before pushing. - Follow the nurse's instructions. They'll guide you on how to support her.

Pushing and Delivery

When she's fully dilated (10 cm), it's time to push. This phase can last anywhere from a few minutes to several hours.

How to help: - Hold her leg or support her back while she pushes (the nurses will show you how). - Count through contractions to help her push effectively. - Stay at her head if you're squeamish about blood. There's no shame in not watching the actual delivery if it makes you uncomfortable. - Cut the umbilical cord if offered (it's optional, not required). - Do immediate skin-to-skin contact if she's unable to (sometimes after C-sections, dad does skin-to-skin first).

What If It's a C-Section?

About 30% of births in the U.S. are cesarean sections (C-sections). Some are planned due to complications, while others are emergency decisions made during labor.

What to expect during a C-section:

You'll wear scrubs, a mask, and a hair cap. You'll sit by her head behind a curtain so you can't see the surgery.

She'll be awake (usually with a spinal or epidural) but numb from the chest down. Talk to her, hold her hand, and reassure her.

The surgery takes about 45 minutes, but the baby is usually delivered within the first 10 minutes. The rest of the time is stitching her back up.

Recovery is longer and harder than vaginal delivery. She'll need significant help at home for the first few weeks.

How to support her after a C-section:

Don't minimize it. A C-section is major abdominal surgery. She's not "lucky" she didn't have to push. She had her organs temporarily removed and then put back. It's brutal.

Help with everything. She can't lift anything heavier than the baby for several weeks. You'll need to do all household tasks, help her in and out of bed, and bring her the baby for feedings.

Watch for infection signs. Redness, swelling, discharge, or fever at the incision site requires immediate medical attention.

Postpartum Planning: What Happens After the Baby Arrives

The third trimester is also when you need to finalize postpartum plans. The first few weeks after birth are chaotic, so having plans in place now reduces stress later.

Feeding Plan

Decide whether she'll breastfeed, formula feed, or do a combination. This is her decision, but you should understand the plan and how you can support it.

If breastfeeding: - Take a breastfeeding class together - Have a lactation consultant's contact information ready - Understand that breastfeeding is hard at first and she'll need patience and support - Your role: bring her water and snacks during feedings, burp the baby, change diapers

If formula feeding: - Research formula brands and buy supplies before the baby arrives - Learn how to properly prepare and store bottles - Your role: share feeding duties equally, especially at night

Postpartum Support System

Who will help you in the first few weeks? Don't assume you can do it alone. New parents need support.

Options for postpartum help: - Family members staying with you (set clear boundaries and expectations) - Hiring a postpartum doula - Meal train organized by friends - Housecleaning service - Grocery delivery

Paternity Leave

If your employer offers paternity leave, take it. If not, use vacation days or unpaid leave if financially possible. The first few weeks are critical bonding time, and your partner needs your help.

How to maximize paternity leave: - Take at least the first week off, ideally two weeks - If you can't take consecutive weeks, consider splitting leave (one week immediately, one week later) - Set out-of-office messages and truly disconnect from work - Focus on supporting your partner and bonding with your baby, not catching up on emails

Your Third Trimester Checklist for Expectant Fathers

Weeks 28-32: - Finalize the nursery setup - Install the car seat and have it inspected (many fire stations offer free inspections) - Take a childbirth class if you haven't already - Start packing the hospital bags

Weeks 33-36: - Finish packing hospital bags and put them by the door - Finalize your birth plan (if you're making one) - Tour the hospital or birth center - Set up postpartum help (family visits, meal train, etc.) - Stock the house with essentials (toilet paper, paper towels, easy meals)

Weeks 37-40: - Keep your phone charged and nearby at all times - Have a full tank of gas in the car - Know the fastest route to the hospital and have a backup route - Finish any last-minute baby preparations - Spend quality time with your partner—your life is about to change forever

The Waiting Game: Dealing with the Final Weeks

The last few weeks of pregnancy are mentally exhausting. Every twinge makes you wonder if it's labor. Every day past the due date feels like an eternity. Your partner is miserable, and you feel helpless.

How to cope with the waiting:

Don't constantly ask "Is it time?" She'll tell you when it's time. Asking repeatedly just adds stress.

Distract yourselves. Watch movies, go for gentle walks, work on projects. Don't just sit around staring at each other waiting for labor to start.

Trust the process. Babies come when they're ready. Only about 5% of babies are born on their actual due date. Anywhere from 37-42 weeks is normal.

Final Thoughts: You're Ready

You've spent nine months preparing for this moment. You've attended appointments, felt the kicks, packed the bags, and read the guides. You're as ready as you're going to be.

Labor will be intense. The first few weeks with a newborn will be exhausting. You'll doubt yourself, feel overwhelmed, and wonder if you're doing it right. That's all normal.

But you'll also experience moments of pure magic: the first time you hold your baby, the first time they grip your finger, the first time they fall asleep on your chest. Those moments make everything worth it.

Your life is about to change in ways you can't fully imagine yet. Embrace it. You're about to become a dad.

Get the complete preparation guide: Download the Pregnancy Playbook for Dads with hospital bag checklists, labor support scripts, postpartum survival tips, and everything you need to confidently navigate pregnancy, delivery, and the first weeks of fatherhood.

References

1. American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists. (2024). "FAQ: The Third Trimester." ACOG.org 2. Mayo Clinic. (2024). "Labor and Delivery: What to Expect." MayoClinic.org 3. Cleveland Clinic. (2023). "Signs of Labor: Know When It's Time." ClevelandClinic.org 4. American Pregnancy Association. (2024). "Third Trimester of Pregnancy." AmericanPregnancy.org 5. National Institutes of Health. (2023). "Preparing for Labor and Delivery." NIH.gov