Second Trimester Guide for Expectant Fathers: The "Honeymoon Phase" of Pregnancy

Welcome to the second trimester—weeks 13 through 27 of pregnancy. If the first trimester felt like surviving a hurricane, the second trimester is often called the "honeymoon phase" of pregnancy. The nausea typically subsides, energy returns, and your partner might actually feel human again. But this trimester brings its own set of challenges, milestones, and opportunities for you as an expectant father to step up in new ways.

This comprehensive second trimester guide for expectant fathers will walk you through what to expect, how to prepare for major milestones like feeling the baby kick and learning the gender, and how to continue being the supportive partner she needs as the pregnancy becomes undeniably real.

What Changes in the Second Trimester

The second trimester marks a dramatic shift in the pregnancy experience. The placenta is now fully formed and functioning, which stabilizes hormone levels and reduces many first trimester symptoms. Her body is still changing rapidly, but in more visible ways now.

Physical changes you'll notice:

The baby bump becomes obvious. By week 20, there's no hiding the pregnancy anymore. Her belly will grow noticeably week by week, and strangers will start commenting on it (which she may or may not appreciate—follow her lead on how to respond).

Her appetite returns with a vengeance. After weeks of nausea and food aversions, she's suddenly hungry again. This is the time when pregnancy cravings become real. Don't judge the combinations—just get her what she wants.

The "pregnancy glow" might actually happen. Increased blood flow and hormones can give her skin a radiant appearance. Her hair might grow thicker and shinier. These are the changes people romanticize about pregnancy, and they're real for many women during the second trimester.

The 20-Week Anatomy Scan: Your First Real Look at Your Baby

The anatomy scan, typically performed between weeks 18-22, is one of the most significant appointments of the entire pregnancy. This detailed ultrasound examines the baby's organs, bones, brain, heart, and overall development. It's also when most couples find out the baby's sex if they choose to know.

What happens during the anatomy scan:

The ultrasound technician will spend 30-45 minutes examining the baby from every angle. You'll see the heart chambers, brain structures, spine, kidneys, bladder, stomach, and limbs in detail. The technician measures everything to ensure the baby is growing appropriately and checks for any abnormalities.

This is not a quick peek like early ultrasounds. It's a thorough medical examination. The technician will be quiet and focused, which can feel nerve-wracking. Don't interpret silence as bad news—they're just concentrating on getting accurate measurements.

How to be a supportive expectant father at the anatomy scan:

Take the day off work if possible. This appointment is long, and it's emotionally significant. Your presence matters more at this appointment than almost any other.

Bring tissues. Even if everything looks perfect, seeing your baby in such detail can be overwhelming. Many fathers cry at this appointment, and that's completely normal.

Ask to see specific features. Request to see the baby's face, hands, or feet. The technician can usually show you these details if the baby cooperates with positioning. These images make the baby feel real in a way that earlier ultrasounds don't.

Get copies of the ultrasound photos. Most facilities provide printouts, but ask if you can also get digital copies. You'll want to share these with family and keep them forever.

Gender Reveal: To Know or Not to Know

The anatomy scan is when most couples learn their baby's sex. This decision is deeply personal, and there's no right answer. Some expectant fathers are desperate to know so they can start planning and bonding. Others want to preserve the surprise for delivery day.

If you want to know but she doesn't (or vice versa):

Have this conversation early, ideally before the anatomy scan appointment. Disagreeing about whether to find out the gender can create tension if you don't discuss it in advance.

Respect her preference if you can't agree. She's carrying the baby, so her vote carries more weight. If she wants to wait and you want to know, you wait. If she wants to know and you want to be surprised, you find out together.

Consider a compromise. Some couples have the technician write the gender on a piece of paper and seal it in an envelope. You can decide later whether to open it, use it for a gender reveal party, or save it until delivery.

If you're having a gender reveal party:

Keep it simple. The internet has created an arms race of increasingly elaborate (and sometimes dangerous) gender reveal stunts. You don't need explosives, fireworks, or viral moments. A cake with colored filling or balloons in a box is perfectly fine.

Remember what matters. The gender reveal is fun, but it's not the point. The point is that you're having a healthy baby. Don't let the party planning overshadow the actual pregnancy.

Feeling the Baby Kick: When It Becomes Real for Dads

For many expectant fathers, the pregnancy doesn't feel entirely real until they feel the baby move. Your partner will likely feel the first flutters (called "quickening") between weeks 16-20, but it takes a few more weeks before the movements are strong enough for you to feel from the outside.

When you'll feel the baby kick:

Most expectant fathers first feel the baby move between weeks 20-24. Early on, the movements are subtle—like a gentle tap or flutter against your hand. By week 24-28, the kicks become unmistakable and sometimes even visible from across the room.

How to increase your chances of feeling the baby move:

Place your hand on her belly when she's resting. The baby is more active when she's sitting or lying still, especially in the evening. Lie next to her in bed with your hand on her bump and wait patiently.

Talk to the baby. Your voice might trigger movement. The baby can hear sounds from outside the womb starting around week 18, and they often respond to familiar voices.

Be patient and persistent. The baby won't perform on command. You might wait for 20 minutes with your hand on her belly and feel nothing, then miss a big kick the moment you move your hand. Keep trying.

What feeling the baby kick means emotionally:

For many expectant fathers, this is the moment when fatherhood shifts from abstract concept to concrete reality. You're not just supporting your pregnant partner anymore—you're connecting with your actual child. This can trigger a wave of emotions: excitement, fear, protectiveness, and overwhelming love for someone you haven't even met yet.

Don't be surprised if you cry the first time you feel your baby move. It's a profound moment, and it's okay to be emotional about it.

Physical Symptoms of the Second Trimester (And How to Help)

While the second trimester is generally easier than the first, your partner still experiences uncomfortable symptoms. As an expectant father, knowing what to expect helps you provide better support.

Round Ligament Pain

As the uterus grows, the ligaments that support it stretch, causing sharp, stabbing pains in the lower abdomen or groin. This is called round ligament pain, and it's completely normal but can be alarming if she doesn't know what it is.

How to help: Encourage her to move slowly when changing positions. Sudden movements trigger round ligament pain. A warm compress on the area can also provide relief.

Back Pain and Pelvic Pressure

The growing belly shifts her center of gravity and puts strain on her back. Additionally, the hormone relaxin loosens her joints and ligaments in preparation for childbirth, which can cause pelvic instability and pain.

How to help: Offer back rubs without being asked. Invest in a pregnancy pillow to support her belly and back while sleeping. Encourage good posture and suggest prenatal yoga if she's interested.

Leg Cramps

Many pregnant women experience painful leg cramps, especially at night. These are caused by changes in circulation, weight gain, and pressure on blood vessels.

How to help: When she wakes up with a leg cramp, help her stretch it out by flexing her foot upward. Encourage her to stay hydrated and consider magnesium supplements (with doctor approval).

Increased Appetite and Cravings

Her body is building a human, which requires extra calories—about 300-500 additional calories per day during the second and third trimesters. This is when pregnancy cravings become intense and specific.

How to help: Never comment on how much she's eating. Never make jokes about pregnancy cravings. Just get her the food she wants, even if it means driving across town at 10 PM for a specific type of ice cream. This is not the time to police her diet.

Sex During the Second Trimester: The Return of Libido

For many women, the second trimester brings a welcome return of sexual desire. The nausea is gone, energy is back, and increased blood flow to the pelvic region can actually increase sensitivity and arousal. However, every woman is different—some experience increased libido, while others remain uninterested throughout pregnancy.

What expectant fathers need to know about second trimester sex:

Sex is safe during low-risk pregnancies. The baby is protected by the amniotic sac, uterine muscles, and cervical mucus plug. You cannot hurt the baby during sex.

Her body is changing, which means positions need to adapt. As her belly grows, missionary position becomes uncomfortable or impossible. Experiment with side-lying, woman-on-top, or rear-entry positions that don't put pressure on her abdomen.

She might feel self-conscious about her changing body. Reassure her that you find her attractive. Compliment her belly, her curves, and the fact that she's growing your child. Many women feel vulnerable about their pregnant bodies, and your words matter.

Bleeding after sex can happen and is usually not dangerous. Increased blood flow to the cervix can cause light spotting after intercourse. However, if bleeding is heavy or accompanied by pain, call the doctor.

Preparing for Baby: What to Do in the Second Trimester

The second trimester is the ideal time to start preparing for the baby's arrival. Your partner has energy again, but she's not yet too uncomfortable to move around. Use this window to tackle major preparation tasks.

Start the Baby Registry

Even if you're not having a baby shower, creating a registry helps you organize what you actually need versus what marketing tells you to buy. Research products, read reviews, and make informed decisions.

Essential items to register for: - Car seat (this is non-negotiable—you can't leave the hospital without one) - Crib or bassinet with a firm, flat mattress - Changing table or changing pad - Diapers (newborn and size 1) - Baby clothes in various sizes (babies grow fast) - Bottles and feeding supplies (even if she plans to breastfeed, have backup options) - Baby carrier or wrap - Diaper bag

What you probably don't need: - Wipe warmers, diaper genies, or other single-purpose gadgets - Expensive designer baby clothes (they'll wear them twice before outgrowing them) - Every baby gadget advertised on Instagram

Set Up the Nursery

You don't need a Pinterest-perfect nursery, but you do need a safe, functional space for the baby. The second trimester is the time to start this project.

Expectant father's nursery checklist: - Paint the room (if needed) now, not in the third trimester when she can't be around fumes - Assemble the crib and ensure it meets current safety standards - Install blackout curtains (babies sleep better in darkness) - Set up a comfortable chair for nighttime feedings - Organize baby clothes by size - Stock the changing station with diapers, wipes, and diaper cream

Take a Childbirth Class Together

Childbirth classes are not just for moms. As an expectant father, you need to know what to expect during labor, how to support her through contractions, and what your role will be in the delivery room.

What you'll learn in childbirth classes: - Stages of labor and what happens in each stage - Pain management options (epidural, natural methods, breathing techniques) - When to go to the hospital - What to expect in the delivery room - Immediate postpartum care for mom and baby - Basic newborn care (diaper changing, swaddling, safe sleep)

Many expectant fathers report that childbirth classes significantly reduced their anxiety about labor and delivery. Knowledge is power, and knowing what to expect helps you stay calm and supportive when the big day arrives.

Financial Planning: Second Trimester Money Moves

The second trimester is when the financial reality of having a baby becomes more concrete. Use this time to make important financial decisions and preparations.

Update Your Budget

Add up the costs of baby gear, medical bills, and ongoing expenses like diapers and formula. The average family spends $12,000-$15,000 in the baby's first year. Adjust your budget accordingly.

Maximize Your Savings

If your employer offers paid parental leave, understand the policy and plan accordingly. If not, save aggressively now to cover unpaid leave. Even an extra $1,000-$2,000 in savings provides a crucial buffer.

Review Your Insurance

Confirm that your health insurance covers the baby from birth. Most plans do, but you typically need to add the baby to your policy within 30 days of birth. Understand the process now so you're not scrambling later.

Update Beneficiaries

If you have life insurance, retirement accounts, or investment accounts, update your beneficiaries to include your child. Create or update your will to name guardians in case something happens to both of you.

Emotional Preparation: Dealing with Prenatal Anxiety

The second trimester often brings a new type of anxiety for expectant fathers. The pregnancy is real now—you've seen the ultrasound, felt the kicks, and maybe even know the gender. The abstract concept of "having a baby" is becoming a concrete reality, and that can be terrifying.

Common fears for expectant fathers in the second trimester:

"What if something goes wrong?" The anatomy scan can trigger anxiety about birth defects or complications. Remember that the vast majority of pregnancies result in healthy babies, but it's normal to worry.

"Am I going to be a good dad?" This fear intensifies as the due date gets closer. The truth is, no one feels fully prepared for parenthood. Asking this question means you care, which is the first requirement of being a good dad.

"How will this change my relationship?" Having a baby fundamentally changes your partnership. Some changes are challenging (less sleep, less sex, less spontaneity), but many are beautiful (deeper connection, shared purpose, watching your partner become a mother).

How to manage prenatal anxiety:

Talk about your fears openly. Don't bottle up anxiety or pretend everything is fine. Share your concerns with your partner, friends, or a therapist.

Focus on what you can control. You can't prevent every possible complication, but you can prepare financially, educate yourself, and create a support system.

Connect with other expectant fathers. Online forums, local dad groups, or friends who recently had babies can provide perspective and reassurance.

Your Second Trimester Checklist for Expectant Fathers

Weeks 13-16: - Celebrate the end of the first trimester (you both survived!) - Start researching baby gear and creating a registry - Discuss whether you want to find out the baby's gender - Begin planning the nursery

Weeks 17-20: - Attend the anatomy scan together - Start feeling for baby kicks - Take "bump" photos to document the pregnancy - Research childbirth classes in your area

Weeks 21-24: - Enroll in a childbirth class - Start buying essential baby items - Set up the nursery (paint, assemble furniture) - Update your budget and savings plan

Weeks 25-27: - Finalize your baby registry - Tour the hospital or birth center where you'll deliver - Start thinking about baby names seriously - Take a "babymoon" trip if you want one (this is your last chance for easy travel)

The Babymoon: Should You Take One?

A babymoon is a vacation taken during pregnancy, typically in the second trimester when she feels good but before she's too uncomfortable to travel. It's your last opportunity for a couples' trip before life changes forever.

Why the second trimester is ideal for a babymoon:

She has energy and isn't nauseous. The first trimester is too miserable for travel, and the third trimester is too uncomfortable and risky.

It's safe to fly. Most airlines allow pregnant women to fly until 36 weeks, but the second trimester is the most comfortable time for air travel.

You both need the connection time. Pregnancy is stressful and all-consuming. A babymoon gives you dedicated time to reconnect as a couple before the baby arrives.

Babymoon tips for expectant fathers:

Choose a relaxing destination, not an adventure trip. This is not the time for hiking Machu Picchu or backpacking through Europe. Think beach resort, spa retreat, or cozy cabin.

Build in plenty of downtime. She'll need frequent bathroom breaks, snacks, and rest. Don't pack the itinerary with activities.

Prioritize her comfort. Book accommodations with a comfortable bed, easy bathroom access, and nearby food options. Splurge on the nicer hotel room.

Final Thoughts: Enjoy the Honeymoon Phase

The second trimester is often the most enjoyable part of pregnancy. Your partner feels better, the baby is growing, and the due date still feels far enough away that you're not panicking yet. Take advantage of this window to prepare, connect, and enjoy this unique time in your lives.

Continue showing up for her. Attend appointments, ask questions, feel for kicks, and stay engaged. The second trimester is when many expectant fathers start to feel more connected to the pregnancy, and that connection will serve you well in the challenging third trimester and beyond.

You're halfway there. Keep going.

Want the complete roadmap for all three trimesters? Get the Pregnancy Playbook for Dads with detailed guides, conversation scripts, hospital preparation checklists, and everything you need to confidently support your partner from pregnancy through postpartum.

References

1. American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists. (2024). "FAQ: The Second Trimester." ACOG.org 2. Mayo Clinic. (2024). "Fetal Development: The 2nd Trimester." MayoClinic.org 3. Cleveland Clinic. (2023). "Anatomy Scan: What to Expect." ClevelandClinic.org 4. American Pregnancy Association. (2024). "Second Trimester of Pregnancy." AmericanPregnancy.org 5. National Institutes of Health. (2023). "Prenatal Care and Tests." NIH.gov